self medication.
b.sowa
![title: found.
photo: particles.
song: cocorosie - lemonade
it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. – e.e. cummings
it’s a funny thing. thinking about what exactly we’re made of [genetics, blood, sinew] and how those little particles play into the bigger picture of who we become. it’s an even funnier thing to think about whether or not we were already destined to become something. who i was. who i am now. who i will be. whether it is encoded somewhere – anywhere – that i would like double short americanos from starbucks, or enjoy writing and music and seeing women who can’t walk well in high heels. why, for example, i consistently ‘feel’ like my life needs to go in a different direction than where it currently is. like the little golden bees and orbs floating through and composing my blood and tissue all have a compass with a predetermined ‘north’ that leads me a certain way. a way i don’t really understand, however know i must go.
a vast city of experiences and feelings and people. just waiting to be explored.
the bees and orbs guide me – they’re natives – and i stumble around my life like a tourist, trying to get the map out of my fanny pack and having forgotten to rub in the line of sunscreen on my nose. i walk down alleyways – a brief stint at the wrong job, a relationship that never would have worked, dying my hair black – and the bees wait patiently at the mouth of the alleyway, insisting that i come back and continue down the right street.
it’s a beautiful feeling. knowing that i’m not in this alone. that all the electricity and the warmth i feel in my life is generated – at least in part – by the buzzing of thousands of little bees who know me better than i know myself. and, ultimately, know where i need to go and how to get there. who can wink at me and smile when the grumpy, old organ that is my brain barges in with his cane and old man sweaters, demanding to know why i made a particular decision and all i have to say is ‘i don’t know, really. and i’m at peace with that’.
[originally posted on my column [soundscape] at knoxroad.com - music website and collector of the cutest kid photo ever, my own photographs not withstanding :) the madness ensues on their tumblr, too.]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvjpi9hMnT1qbm67qo1_500.jpg)
title: found.
photo: particles.
song: cocorosie - lemonade
it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. – e.e. cummings
it’s a funny thing. thinking about what exactly we’re made of [genetics, blood, sinew] and how those little particles play into the bigger picture of who we become. it’s an even funnier thing to think about whether or not we were already destined to become something. who i was. who i am now. who i will be. whether it is encoded somewhere – anywhere – that i would like double short americanos from starbucks, or enjoy writing and music and seeing women who can’t walk well in high heels. why, for example, i consistently ‘feel’ like my life needs to go in a different direction than where it currently is. like the little golden bees and orbs floating through and composing my blood and tissue all have a compass with a predetermined ‘north’ that leads me a certain way. a way i don’t really understand, however know i must go.
a vast city of experiences and feelings and people. just waiting to be explored.
the bees and orbs guide me – they’re natives – and i stumble around my life like a tourist, trying to get the map out of my fanny pack and having forgotten to rub in the line of sunscreen on my nose. i walk down alleyways – a brief stint at the wrong job, a relationship that never would have worked, dying my hair black – and the bees wait patiently at the mouth of the alleyway, insisting that i come back and continue down the right street.
it’s a beautiful feeling. knowing that i’m not in this alone. that all the electricity and the warmth i feel in my life is generated – at least in part – by the buzzing of thousands of little bees who know me better than i know myself. and, ultimately, know where i need to go and how to get there. who can wink at me and smile when the grumpy, old organ that is my brain barges in with his cane and old man sweaters, demanding to know why i made a particular decision and all i have to say is ‘i don’t know, really. and i’m at peace with that’.
[originally posted on my column [soundscape] at knoxroad.com - music website and collector of the cutest kid photo ever, my own photographs not withstanding :) the madness ensues on their tumblr, too.]
Bari Sowa | Bari Sowa on ARTchipel.com - Summer in the city lll : requiem. Fine art photography, 20x25cm
Bari Sowa | Bari Sowa on ARTchipel.com - opal lea, 2010. Fine art photography, 20x25cm
Bari Sowa | Bari Sowa on ARTchipel.com - The telling. Fine art photography, 20x25cm
Bari Sowa | Bari Sowa on ARTchipel.com - The twist. Fine art photography, 20x25cm
Bari Sowa | Bari Sowa on ARTchipel.com - A beautiful captivation. Fine art photography, 20x25cm
![so, here’s the thing.
i’m really awful at taking compliments. a person will say “oh! your dress/sweater/whatever is so cute!”, and i will respond with a baffled face and “oh, no! no! i look so gross today.”, or “thanks, but i decided to spill coffee all over myself, see?”, and they inevitably don’t really know how to respond [“oh, well i like coffee stains?” - you get the idea]. so then it’s kind of awkward and i feel bad because i should have just said “thank you”.
it’s something i’m working on, especially as i’m the type of person who likes to give compliments and i would probably sit there thinking “sheesh, lady, i just said i liked your shoes. i don’t care about whether you need to get them to the cobbler because the uneven heel makes you tromp around like a horse”, or whatever. when i compliment someone i want them to say “thank you, that’s so kind of you to notice.” and i want to smile and be proud of myself for noticing something on a stranger and - hopefully - make their day a little better, because who doesn’t like a compliment? i know i love them. the other day my physical therapist commented on my ‘small waist’ and i felt impossibly skinny and svelte for two straight days, even though i responded with “well, thanks, ha, but, um, i didn’t really have anything to do with my skeletal structure, you see. my ribs just naturally go in like that.”, which was awkward.
the whole point of this [yes, there’s a point] is that instead of reblogging this interview with ARTchipel and saying “i sound like the most pretentious asshole in this world” as i normally would, i’m just going to reblog it and say,
“thank you, ARTchipel, for wanting to interview me and for posting said interview on your blog. it was so kind of you to notice my photographs.”
artchipel:
ARTchipel Artist
Bari Sowa | Bari Sowa on ARTchipel.com (USA) - Connected. Fine art photography, 20x25cm
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• Tell us in few words about you. I’m from Los Angeles though grew up making frequent visits to family in New Mexico. I think that has influenced my work a great deal as I find myself more and more drawn to rural and isolated characteristics – in people and in landscapes.
• What motivated you to become an artist? I never made a conscious decision to become an artist. I didn’t ever consider being a photographer because I didn’t own (and even still, don’t own) anything more advanced than a point and shoot. It took me a long time to realize that being an artist doesn’t have anything to do with what materials you use.
• What are your work process and techniques? I guess my only process is that when I see something that incites emotion in me (sadness, loneliness, joy) I want to explore it – no matter what it is. It’s a big reason why I almost always post photographs with music – I feel there is a more complete range of emotions possible with more stimuli. I want to tell a story or have someone else create his own story. My only goal is to have a person walk away feeling differently than he did before viewing my work.
• What are your ideal conditions for work? I take a photograph when I see something that makes me pause. This, of course, can occur almost everywhere, so there are really no ideal conditions. Editing photos, however, is different. I like to edit in silence to allow whatever photograph I’m working on to speak to me. Based on the emotions that the photograph has stirred up, I’ll start listening to songs that have made me feel similarly, which allows for a more complete movement of emotion.
• What inspires and provokes imagination in you? People. I adore and am inspired by and am moved by people – their stories, their eccentricities, their quirks. What they’re afraid of, what makes them laugh, how they take their coffee.
• Does your work reflect your person? I suppose it does to a certain extent because I feel a very strong connection to each piece and therefore it’s all an expression of something that I’m feeling or have felt. As a whole, though, no. I don’t think so. My work feels very lonely and I’m not a lonely person. I feel very vibrant and alive all of the time and I’ll look at my website and wonder where all the color is.
• The adjective that best describes you? Alive
(interview with artist by ARTchipel Nov-2011)
[more Bari Sowa | Bari Sowa on ARTchipel.com]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lunwhzx5Xe1qdhfhho1_1280.jpg)
so, here’s the thing.
i’m really awful at taking compliments. a person will say “oh! your dress/sweater/whatever is so cute!”, and i will respond with a baffled face and “oh, no! no! i look so gross today.”, or “thanks, but i decided to spill coffee all over myself, see?”, and they inevitably don’t really know how to respond [“oh, well i like coffee stains?” - you get the idea]. so then it’s kind of awkward and i feel bad because i should have just said “thank you”.
it’s something i’m working on, especially as i’m the type of person who likes to give compliments and i would probably sit there thinking “sheesh, lady, i just said i liked your shoes. i don’t care about whether you need to get them to the cobbler because the uneven heel makes you tromp around like a horse”, or whatever. when i compliment someone i want them to say “thank you, that’s so kind of you to notice.” and i want to smile and be proud of myself for noticing something on a stranger and - hopefully - make their day a little better, because who doesn’t like a compliment? i know i love them. the other day my physical therapist commented on my ‘small waist’ and i felt impossibly skinny and svelte for two straight days, even though i responded with “well, thanks, ha, but, um, i didn’t really have anything to do with my skeletal structure, you see. my ribs just naturally go in like that.”, which was awkward.
the whole point of this [yes, there’s a point] is that instead of reblogging this interview with ARTchipel and saying “i sound like the most pretentious asshole in this world” as i normally would, i’m just going to reblog it and say,
“thank you, ARTchipel, for wanting to interview me and for posting said interview on your blog. it was so kind of you to notice my photographs.”
Bari Sowa | Bari Sowa on ARTchipel.com (USA) - Connected. Fine art photography, 20x25cm
• Tell us in few words about you.
I’m from Los Angeles though grew up making frequent visits to family in New Mexico. I think that has influenced my work a great deal as I find myself more and more drawn to rural and isolated characteristics – in people and in landscapes.• What motivated you to become an artist?
I never made a conscious decision to become an artist. I didn’t ever consider being a photographer because I didn’t own (and even still, don’t own) anything more advanced than a point and shoot. It took me a long time to realize that being an artist doesn’t have anything to do with what materials you use.• What are your work process and techniques?
I guess my only process is that when I see something that incites emotion in me (sadness, loneliness, joy) I want to explore it – no matter what it is. It’s a big reason why I almost always post photographs with music – I feel there is a more complete range of emotions possible with more stimuli. I want to tell a story or have someone else create his own story. My only goal is to have a person walk away feeling differently than he did before viewing my work.• What are your ideal conditions for work?
I take a photograph when I see something that makes me pause. This, of course, can occur almost everywhere, so there are really no ideal conditions. Editing photos, however, is different. I like to edit in silence to allow whatever photograph I’m working on to speak to me. Based on the emotions that the photograph has stirred up, I’ll start listening to songs that have made me feel similarly, which allows for a more complete movement of emotion.• What inspires and provokes imagination in you?
People. I adore and am inspired by and am moved by people – their stories, their eccentricities, their quirks. What they’re afraid of, what makes them laugh, how they take their coffee.• Does your work reflect your person?
I suppose it does to a certain extent because I feel a very strong connection to each piece and therefore it’s all an expression of something that I’m feeling or have felt. As a whole, though, no. I don’t think so. My work feels very lonely and I’m not a lonely person. I feel very vibrant and alive all of the time and I’ll look at my website and wonder where all the color is.• The adjective that best describes you?
Alive(interview with artist by ARTchipel Nov-2011)
[more Bari Sowa | Bari Sowa on ARTchipel.com]
i don’t know about promise.
b.sowa
and i laughed.
and as i laughed, i became aware of the crackling, static electricity of my voice. the bells and chimes and all the hurt.
the pain.
and as i laughed i felt my heart dilate
and the laughter danced off of my tongue in molecules.
one.
single.
molecule.
at.
a.
time.
whirring. exploding. evaporating into the night air.
and i thought,
‘damn. this is living.’
things without name.
b.sowa
